The Quiet Weight of Healing

When the work you love feels misaligned

September 09, 2025

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Welcome back, dear colleague!

Some forms of suffering never show up on a chart.

They’re not coded as diagnoses. They’re not solved with boundaries.
They’re carried in the silence between what we believe in and how we’re forced to live.

This is Healer’s Anxiety—a form of quiet distress that many clinicians, organizers, and advocates carry without ever naming.

It’s not burnout—though it leads there.
It’s not incompetence—though it makes us question ourselves.
It’s the ache of living for a purpose you rarely have time to live out.

We’re sharing this with PPH Insights readers because the original Courage in Practice version of this piece was widely read and requested. More importantly, Healer’s Anxiety is common across clinicians, public health leaders, and organizers. If you’ve felt it lately, this edition offers language, validation, and small steps to realign with purpose.

The Core Idea: Healer’s Anxiety as Misalignment

Many healers feel anxiety not because they’re failing, but because their days have drifted out of alignment with their deeper purpose.

They show up, deliver care, write the notes, run the meetings—yet go home with a growing disquiet:

“I’m doing the work. But I don’t feel connected to why I began.”

This isn’t just about workload. It’s about identity.
When your calling becomes your constraint, anxiety is the natural response.

Let’s break it down:

3 Hidden Roots of Healer’s Anxiety:

Loss of Agency
When others’ needs dictate every moment, it becomes harder to choose actions that feel soul-aligned.
Erosion of Identity
If you entered your work to serve, but now feel like a machine—this isn’t just fatigue. It’s identity whiplash.
Unresolved Inner Conflict
The tension of giving endlessly while drifting from your “why” creates deep dissonance. It sounds like:
“I’m living for my purpose, but I’m not living my purpose.”

This anxiety isn’t weakness. It’s wisdom that something needs to change.

A Story You Can Use

“I Was Living for My Purpose—But Not Living My Purpose”

This edition was born from a conversation with a colleague in Canada—a brilliant, devoted primary care doctor working under immense pressure.

He said, with a steady voice:

“I see 40 to 60 patients a day. I don’t even have time to feel bad about it anymore. I just survive it.”

Then he paused and added, almost as if to himself:

“I became a doctor because I believe in human connection. But I don’t feel human most days.”

This wasn’t about competency. It was about misalignment.

He wasn’t just tired. He was grieving the distance between what he believed in—and how the system forced him to live.

What he needed wasn’t a meditation app.
He needed someone to see the cost of that fracture—and to remember with him what mattered.

Try This Week

Day	5‑Minute Realignment Practice	Why It Helps
Monday	Ask yourself: “What did I hope to feel in this work—and when was the last time I felt it?”	Clarifies the emotional core of your calling.
Wednesday	Journal for 5 minutes: “What would it look like to live my purpose, even 10% more?”	Shifts mindset from despair to agency.
Friday	Share this question with a trusted colleague: “What part of your work still makes you feel like you?”	Sparks reconnection through mutual honesty.

Invitation: Courageous Clinicians Orientation Meeting (free)

If you’ve ever felt this kind of Healer’s Anxiety—the misalignment between your purpose and the pace of practice—here’s a next step. Join us for the Courageous Clinicians Community Orientation Meeting to connect with colleagues and see the concrete ways clinicians support each other to navigate anxiety, moral injury, and burnout in the Courageous Clinicians Community.

When: Friday, September 12th 2025 at 11:30am ET